Tag Archives: Corporate Blah Blah

Are you a simplifier or a “complexifier”?

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See more great quotes like this at http://startupquote.com/

See more great quotes like this one at http://startupquote.com/

I realized something new about Corporate Blah Blah today. Corporate speak isn’t always a writing or speaking problem. It’s often a thinking problem.

Makes sense. You have to have a clear thought in order to write about it in a clean, clear, concise way. It helps to be a good sorter, organizer and weeder-outer.

Side note: Does this mean that people with tidy desks, organized files and categorized e-mails make better communicators? Wow. That’s something to debate, isn’t it? (Although I will take a stand and say that people with tidy desks, organized files and categorized e-mails do make better proofreaders. But that’s for another blog post.)

Back to my point: None of this means that complex subjects can’t be communicated clearly. They can be. But you need to start by breaking them down into easy-to-understand tidbits, which you’ll then logically organize in your brain before you start writing…or open your mouth. That’s how you can be a simplifier.

On the other hand, “complexifiers” thrive on Corporate Blah Blah. (Thanks to Ron Ashkenas at Harvard Business Review for teaching me that new word!)

Here’s what Ron said:

“Complexifiers have a hard time communicating their plans to colleagues and customers, relying on intricate charts and diagrams and convoluted slides rather than simple, straightforward messages. One of the key characteristics of a simplifier is the ability to tell stories that convey the situation, the goals, and the plans — in a way that helps people understand what they need to do and how their work fits with everything else.”

Read more at: Overcome the Complexity Within You – Ron Ashkenas – Harvard Business Review.

Doozy of the Week

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Oh no, they didn’t!

Sometimes even the best communicators succumb to Corporate Blah Blah. Maybe because it’s easier to get approvals on vague statements that make all your sources happy. Or because some business folk think the only intelligent style of writing is that which sounds like a business school textbook. Or because you naturally start to communicate in the language you’re immersed in — English, Spanish, Mandarin, Blah Blah.

Regardless, we all do it now and then. Even the elite of corporate communication — the powers at the International Association of Business Communicators (IABC).

They sent me an e-mail last month, inviting me to take a survey about something or other. I’m still not sure what. Here’s what the e-mail said:

Building on our commitment to provide exceptional value for members, the 2010 international board set the wheels in motion to develop a career path that would be a new global pillar of excellence for our profession. What began as a single project has grown into an association-wide initiative that will change who we are by bringing clarity and more relevance to the members we serve and the businesses that you serve.

In 2010 we established the Lifelong Learning Committee to develop a roadmap of the communication career continuum that would align important programs like the Gold Quill Awards, Accreditation and professional development with your needs. We have held two Career Summits and facilitated topic-based dialogue with communication professionals across the globe. As we listened to and learned from members, IABC’s global standard took on a broader value that called for a clearly defined body of knowledge for business communication.

In February, eight knowledge areas capturing the essence of the profession were proposed to the board. These knowledge areas capture IABC’s global standard, and serve as the overarching categories representing the breadth of knowledge that you need to become a strategic business partner.

Our 18-month journey has been rich with discovery, and we are ready to move to the next level. That’s where you come in….

After reading that, I’m not sure I want to come in. Anything that includes the phrase “roadmap of the communication career continuum” sounds scarier to me than Stephen King’s The Shining.

“Facilitated topic-based dialogue” could be dreadful, too. But when unmasked, it’s not so horrifying. It just means “talked about specific things.”

There are some bright spots, though. For one, “IABC’s global standard took on a broader value.” Not sure how to translate that, but it sounds almost as good as “mui beneficioso.” And then there’s everyone’s favorite: “We are ready to move to the next level.” Phew. Because this level is way too confusing for me. Let’s just go to the next one and see if things get clearer up there.

Now, I don’t mean to “blahspheme” IABC. I’ve been a satisfied member and active promoter for almost 15 years. But this Doozy is proof that we’re all susceptible to Corporate Blah Blah — even those of us who preach against it. Stay alert!

 

The best disclaimer I’ve ever read

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The Harvard Business Review blog network typically has some well-written, thought-provoking posts. But the one I read today, “Yes, Corporations Are People,” is worthy of praise — not as much for its commentary or writing but for the editor’s footnote:

Editor’s note: The author — or, more to the point, his company’s lawyers — would really like you to know that RBC Wealth Management – U.S. is a division of RBC Capital Markets, LLC, a member of NYSE/FINRA/SIPC.

In other words, “We don’t think you’ll care, but some lawyers are making us tell you this.”

That’s the best disclaimer I’ve ever read. And, as an ad agency proofreader, I read lots of them.

Who’d have thought that a disclaimer — typically a hotbed of legal-speak and Corporate Blah Blah — could be personable and even slightly sarcastic?


Here’s a Solution: Stop Saying “Solutions”

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What ever happened to good ol’ products and services? And when did companies stop selling them in favor of “value-added” somethings?

Today, everyone wants to think they’re getting more for less. And maybe that’s why so many companies have started selling “solutions.”

So many, we can’t tell them apart anymore…much less know what they really sell.

  • Marketing Solutions
  • IT Solutions
  • HR Solutions
  • Communication Solutions
  • Industrial Solutions
  • Climate Solutions
  • Cross-Cultural Solutions
  • Psychiatric Solutions
  • Old Age Solutions
  • Skin Solutions
  • Hair Solutions
  • Lawn Solutions
  • Bamboo Solutions (It has nothing to do with panda food or funky placemats but everything to do with SharePoint. Go figure.)
  • Serials Solutions (No help for mass murderers here. Just some database search software for librarians.)
  • Thinsolutions (Don’t get your hopes up. It’s an IT services company.)

Google any word along with “solutions,” and there’s a good chance you’ll find a company that sells it.

But here’s my favorite: The Solution Store.

Know what it sells? Office supplies. (The names “Office Solutions,” “Office Supply Solutions,” “Paper Solutions” and “File Solutions” were already taken.)

Of course, if your problem is a slow network, a strong-willed child, raccoons under your porch or a weird allergy to bananas, The Solution Store won’t have your solution.

And that’s my point.

“Solution” doesn’t really mean anything. At least nothing tangible.

“Solution” is Corporate Blah Blah for a product, a service or a combination of the two. And those details are what people really want to know. When you say you “provide solutions,” you make people dig to uncover what you really do.

Oh, So That’s What You Do

A few years back, I was talking to an acquaintance about his employer, The Timken Company. I really didn’t know much about the company — just that they made bearings. But the acquaintance quickly corrected me. Timken didn’t “make bearings.” They specialized in “friction management and powertrain solutions.”

Ah. That cleared things up.

Months later, when writing for the company, I realized in how many places Timken described itself the same way, as a leader in “friction management and powertrain solutions.”

I’m sure somebody had a good reason for using those words, but wouldn’t something like “We sell bearings and everything they need to work better” be easier to understand?

I know it’s not the whole story, but it would have made a clearer introduction.

Evidently, someone else at Timken thought the same. Today, Timken’s About Us page begins: “The Timken Company is a leading global manufacturer of highly engineered bearings, alloy steels, and related components and assemblies. Our technologies and products turn up virtually everywhere equipment moves or power is transmitted.”

Now I get it. So that’s what friction management and powertrain solutions are: really good bearings, steel and more.

The Problem That “Solutions” Can’t Fix

With so many solutions available, there must be a lot of problem solving going on. But here’s one problem that “solutions” can’t fix:  obscurity.

Corporate Blah Blah loves to be obscure. It uses all the “right” words — like “solutions” — without really saying anything. So, avoid it.

Write in Real People Talk to be as clear and direct as possible. And you won’t need any more “communication solutions.”

Round of Ap-blahs

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…to Swagelok for taking some bold action against Corporate Blah Blah by laying down new writing rules for their corporate communications…and publicizing them on a mood board. (Read it, below.)

It was a brave move for communicators at the fluid systems manufacturer, known for its conservative and formal culture. (Sound familiar, all you who work in manufacturing or finance?) Heck, in a workplace where dressy business attire is still expected, what were the chances that Swagelok communications would start using contractions and stop using words like “implement”?

The communicators presented their new corporate voice as a natural evolution of the Swagelok brand — moving away from an authoritative tone to something more approachable and personal. That cleared the way for guidelines like these:

If you wouldn’t say it, don’t write it.

Talk to a person, not to an abstract audience.

Tell a story or paint a picture that relates to the person, not the product.

And how innovative to present their new writing style on a mood board! I thought mood boards were only for visual designers — to communicate a tone through colors, imagery and typestyles. But I guess they work for “verbal designers” too — to communicate a tone through syntax and writing style.

Spot a great sample of clean, clear, concise writing? Send it to me, and let’s give it a Round of Ap-blahs.

 

Doozy of the Week

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“Non-retail prepriced.”

What the heck does THAT mean? That doozy has communicators for a consumer products manufacturer rolling their eyes.

Evidently, “non-retail prepriced” is Corporate Blah Blah for products that don’t come with prices already on them. Retailers need to display the prices themselves.

(So, “non-retail prepriced” doesn’t even mean what it sounds like: that a product is prepriced but not for the retailer.)

What’s a better translation?

  • Unpriced?
  • Price-your-own?
  • Retailer-priced?
  • Price-it-yourself?

Don’t Tell ‘Is’ Stories. They’re Deadly.

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That’s what Steve Gleydura, editor of Cleveland Magazine, said at today’s Press Club of Cleveland lunch program (which, by the way, was at the Terrace Club at Progressive Field, where we had an all-you-can-eat buffet of nachos, hot dogs, hot pretzels, Cracker Jack, cotton candy and other ballpark treats. How cool was THAT?)

Gleydura’s point was that corporate communicators kill all chances of getting media attention when they merely announce that something is (e.g., Nice Bank is having its 25th anniversary; Super Insurance is introducing a new product). That’s not a story. And if you want attention, you’d better have a story. A good one.

I’d say that’s true for any audience — even loyal customers who like your brand a lot. Even internal peeps who wear your company logo on their shirt.

Really, the problem is corporate ego. Companies tend to think everyone else cares. That surely we’ll want to know what they’re up to. That their VP is going to present at some industry conference. That their IT department won some award.

In a quick tally of one Northeast Ohio company’s news archives, 8 of 13 recent press releases were about how the company “Delivers,” “Unveils,” “Develops,” “Launches” or “Introduces” — all Corporate Blah Blah ways of saying that something now “Is” that wasn’t before.

It’s like a bedtime story that goes: “Once upon a time, there was a fair maiden. The end.”

That’s it. She just was. No setting. No problem. No resolution. No happy ending. No moral.

Wouldn’t fly with the kids, would it? Doesn’t fly with business audiences either.

 

 

Let’s Play…Match the Mission Statement!

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Below is a mission statement for one of three companies:
A. Grocery store chain
B. Agricultural equipment manufacturer
C. Tire company

Can you pick which one?

We will constantly strive to implement the critical initiatives required to achieve our vision. In doing this, we will deliver operational excellence in every corner of the Company and meet or exceed our commitments to the many constituencies we serve.

Hmm.

Well, you know it’s a company that has “critical initiatives” and a “vision” of some kind. They strive for “operational excellence,” whatever that looks like. And they have “constituencies,” whoever they are.

Not what you’d expect from a company that sells…[spoiler alert!]

…milk, bologna and Lucky Charms.

Mission statements can be great sources of Corporate Blah Blah. Francisco Dao, leadership expert at Inc.com, says it’s because so many companies try to write the “perfect, enduring statement” instead of something practical that can focus their team today.

In his 4-minute “Writing a Mission Statement” video (I know it’s old. But it’s still good!), Dao lists five tips to help mission statements not sound like a “politician’s non-answer”:

  1. Mission statements don’t have to last forever. (Vague statements mean nothing. Keep it focused.)
  2. Shorter is usually better.
  3. Test your mission statement. (A good statement could serve equally well as a marketing slogan.)
  4. Your statement should be measurable.
  5. Check your mission statement for relevancy. (As your business evolves, so should your statement.)

Now, below is a mission statement for one of three companies:
A. Insurance provider
B. Truck manufacturer
C. Pharmaceutical company

Can you pick which one?

We will be the easiest pharmacy retailer for customers to use.

I knew you could!

For more sample mission statements — the good and the blah — see Fortune 500 Mission Statements.

Clarity Killers

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At first glance, I couldn’t wait to blog about this report on Managing Clarity in Corporate Communication. Any report called “Complex to Clear” with 68 pages and 20-some figures and tables was just asking for an Irony of the Year Award.

But then I read the first few pages. And I realized that in spite of the word “obfuscating” on page 7, there’s some really good info in here about Corporate Blah Blah and how to prevent it.

So, for all who wish they had more time to read, allow me to review this report for you…and share just the best parts, one blog at a time.

Best Part #1: Clarity Killers

Authors Martin Eppler and Nicole Bischof summarized all the “bad communication practices that reduce clarity.” Who knew there were so many?!

On my own, I could think of only a few:

  • Using vague, businessy sounding words (e.g., “actionable,” “gain traction,” “bandwidth”) that most people only pretend they understand
  • Using industry jargon (for an audience of “outsiders”)
  • Being wordy

But here are more Clarity Killers, courtesy of Eppler and Bischof:

  • “Communicating strategy in the same format through which it was developed”— So true! Your balanced scorecard or strategy map or placemat or whatever-you-call-it is probably not as good as an anecdote or metaphor or infographic when it comes to educating the masses about company strategy.
  • “Keeping your corporate values and aspirations as abstract and generic as possible”— Yes! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen mission statements like “Providing the best products and services to satisfy our customers and position us as the top company in our market.” Now that’ll set you apart. That’s almost as good as “We want to be successful.”

For the whole list of Clarity Killers, see page 12 in the report.

Coming soon:
Best Part #2: Why we make communications so complex

 

Doozy of the Week — Bonus!

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I know, I know. I just posted a doozy a few days ago. But this one, from a company press release, was too good to let sit until next week.

The new brand is a result of our collaborative work with stakeholders, members and customers. We listened to their feedback about a desire to work with a more modern and global organization, while still maintaining our rich history and an emphasis on sustainability,” said Ash Sahi, President & CEO, CSA Group. “The singular, more streamlined brand identity will help as the organization extends its global service offerings and solutions to our customers and members while building on our specialized technical expertise, reputation, trustworthiness and rich heritage.

And together we all say, “Huh?”

Translation: “Everyone said our logo was stodgy, so we changed it.”

Credit goes to Clare Lynch for sharing this doozy here: Good Copy, Bad Copy » Blog Archive » Three quick tips for writing a totally pointless press release.